A solution to vocal problems? Oh yes! Oh yes!

Argy-bargy at the Royal Opera House press conference yesterday: in the course of a highly operatic morning, Tony Pappano had a go at everyone about the misinformation and conspiracy theories that circulated around the Robert le Diable cast changes a few months back.

Leaving aside the possibility that the work itself is jinxed and should just be quietly buried...what happened, Pappano said, was this: first Florez decided against moving into heavier repertoire, following an unhappy experience with the Duke of Mantua; next, Diana Damrau got pregnant; and though Maria Poplavskaya was ill, she then recovered and went back into the show because her doctor said she was was well enough to do so. The saga with Jennifer Rowley is another issue altogether...

Apart from that, there's plenty good stuff next season including a recital on the main stage by Jonas Kaufmann, who'll also be singing in Puccini's Manon Lescaut; three Strauss operas for the composer's anniversary year, including Karita Mattila in Ariadne auf Naxos; Faust with Calleja and Terfel; Les Dialogues des Carmelites with Magdalena Kozena on stage and Simon Rattle in the pit; a new production of Parsifal; and a lavish, expensive staging together with the Royal Ballet of The Sicilian Vespers. In ballet, there'll be a full-length creation by Christopher Wheeldon based on Shakespeare's A Winter's Tale, with a new score by Joby Talbot, and Carlos Acosta will be in charge of a new staging of Don Quixote. Sales are up, with ballet reaching 98% of box office and opera hot on its heels (so to speak). More opera 13-14 news here. More ballet 13-14 news here.

Still, it was clear that TP is fairly fed up with singers who cancel, and that it does happen more than it used to.

What to do? Maybe the ROH needs to invest in some vibrators.

This is not a joke. (At least, I don't think it is.) Just look at this news from the University of Alberta:

Vibrators are being used by researchers at the University of Alberta to help give actors a little bit more vocal power. The team of researchers found that pressing the sex toys against the throats of actors helps to give them improved projection and range – vocally, of course.

“You can actually watch on a spectrograph how vocal energy grows,” said David Ley, who worked on the project. “Even when you take the vibrator off, the frequencies are greater than when first applied.

He said he has used this method with singers, schoolteachers and actors, and so far the vibrator technique has always worked...

Ley headed over to a local love shop in search of some hand-held vibrators in order to test out whether they could help release various forms of muscular tension. He was looking for a vibrator with a frequency somewhere between 100 and 120 hertz, which is close to the range of the human voice. Once he applied the vibrator to an actress’ neck over the vocal cords, she was able to produce striking results.

(As reported on RedOrbit - Your Universe Online - read the whole thing here.)

A last-minute trip to Valhalla

Where do you sit for Die Walküre? In the Gods, of course. And the single best thing about going to Wagner? No queue in the Ladies' Room. Though apparently there was a massive queue in the Gents. Now they know what it's like for us at almost everything else.

I managed, with the help of an eagle-eyed and quick-moused pal, to get a last-minute return for the Wagner at Covent Garden last night. Amid all our yadda yesterday about dressing-down, seat prices et al, I can report that a) the amphitheatre of the Royal Opera House was very dressed-down indeed - Wagner is a long haul flight and you need to go for comfort rather than style; b) the rest of the audience didn't look excessively flash either; and c) you can see nearly six hours of opera with a world-beating cast like this one, a clear view of the complete stage and an excellent take on the house acoustic, for £61. I don't think that is overpriced, under the circumstances. Most people I spoke to had booked a year in advance. Everyone up there was a total Wagner nut, and the hush and stillness through the performance was something to marvel at.

Highlights of the evening appeared in unusual places. First of all, Sarah Connolly's Fricka: a nuanced, heart-rending, ruby-toned performance, exceptionally sophisticated and classy. Another call for someone, please, to award a recording contract, scandalously absent at present. Come on, people - Connolly is a national treasure. She's on disc. But not enough.  

This, too, was the production's one real masterstroke: the tortured relationship between her and Bryn Terfel's Wotan is the heart of the story. Often Fricka is portrayed as little more than a backroom bully, a fundamental ideologist forcing Wotan's hand over a point of malign principle (it's a common enough problem) and you always wonder why he's weak enough to cave in (a common enough problem too). Here, though, there is still a great love between this long-married couple, on both sides. Connolly made you feel every twist of Fricka's shredded heart as the faithless Wotan cradles her with tremendous tenderness. Wotan lets her win because his love for her ultimately overrides his other amours. It makes sense out of the whole story.

It was more or less the only sense we got out of Keith Warner's production, which I have not attended before. It's cluttered, fussy and occasionally worrying: there's a distinct tendency for characters to trip over the red rope that is doing goodness knows what across the stage, and over the metal thingummyjig that rears up in the middle of the set, and then there's the ladder, from which Susan Bullock apparently had to be unhooked by a stage-hand on the first night - and will something elsewhere in the cycle make sense of the three-pronged fan under which Brunnhilde falls asleep? What's it for - repelling mosquitoes? On the top of a mountain? Most of the action appears to take place in a disused storeroom or perhaps a very messy study (a bit like mine) with a black office table, a leather chaise-longue and a huge heap of discarded books. I was constantly alarmed in case someone decided to do a Nazi-reference thing by setting light to it, though fortunately they didn't. If you're going to offer a concept Walküre, then clarity of that concept helps. This one, if it exists, eludes me. And according to Fiona Maddocks, the production has actually been streamlined since last time. 

The other unforgettable performance was Sir John Tomlinson's Hunding, who could dominate the stage with his first swing of the axe and the auditorium with his first note and all thereafter. A marvellous moment when he and Terfel's Wotan come face to face - these two legends together are not something you see every day. Marvels too from Terfel himself, of course, a Wotan incarnate; and Eva-Maria Westbroek as Sieglinde, creamy-toned, all-giving and ultimately transcendental as she blesses Brunnhilde. As the latter, a feisty Susan Bullock, tiny and ferocious. Simon O'Neill as Siegmund started strong, but threatened to fade out as Act 1 wrestled him and nearly won. Luxury singing from the Valkyrie gang and, below, Tony Pappano presided over a rich-toned and rhapsodic orchestra augmented by six harps plucking away in the stalls circle. 

At the risk of sounding heretical, though, I'm not convinced Wagner is Pappano's finest six hours. He has become incomparable in Italian repertoire - Il Trittico a year ago was one of the greatest evenings I've ever had in the ROH, and I mean it. But this was rather gentle Wagner: an interpretation that roused and glowed but didn't transfigure. It needs an extra hard-edge of ecstasy that simply wasn't there, despite the glories of the singing. 

Let's face it: we go to Wagner to get high. That's why people get addicted. And if you don't get the high, something isn't quite working. And the place it needs to be generated is in the pit. It's legal. But it shouldn't necessarily sound it.

Top tweets for Tosca

In case you missed the fun, Tosca trended on Twitter yesterday when the Royal Opera House's production by Jonathan Kent hit BBC2, starring Angela Gheorghiu, Jonas Kaufmann and Bryn Terfel, with Tony Pappano conducting. Experience the power and the glory of this singular Christmas treat by reading a selection of the verdicts, commentaries, quips, observations and much more that spurred the stars on their way, from living rooms up and down the country... (BTW, this timeline goes backwards, so we start at the end.)

MERRY CHRISTMAS A TUTTI!

@richardwjones As good as Angela Gheorgiu was as Tosca, nobody will ever be quite as good as Maria Callas. #greatdivas #tosca #puccini

@talopine Being made VERY jealous by all the people in my timeline who are raving over #Tosca on the BBC with Kaufman and Terfel. #VERYjealous #sob

@Random_Opera After brilliance of #Tosca earlier, why are we being given repeats of f***ing Morecambe & Wise on BBC2 (and equal shit on other channels...)

@jonathanclinch Sooo true.... RT @Maroodiva #tosca is trending, c'mon #bbc don't just put decent opera on the tele at Xmas, people WANT to watch it!!!!!

@sanathaash1993#Tosca was awesome!

@Operazzi “@Gert: Is this really suitable viewing for a Saturday afternoon - torture, attempted rape, murder, execution, suicide? #tosca” ALWAYS!

@itsmao #tosca and now #E.T when am I going to stop crying?

@DanJamesWins #Tosca is trending, OPERA ISN'T DEAD!!

@DrPiffle It was amazing, wasn't it? Sublime leads, spec JK. Orchestra in fine form too. #tosca #stillsobbing

@BlueBaby #BrynTerfel was frightening enough from the amphitheatre.On TV he was terrifying #Tosca #don'thavenightmares

@stu_melling Tosca over: tears dried and the excitement of my first visit to@RoyalOperaHouse on Feb 11th kicks in now. #shakingwithexcitement #tosca

@amzenon It was amazing.. stunning.. captivating.. even on television.. I hope you can hear and see it sometime... #Tosca

@kittywhately Overwhelmed by #tosca at @RoyalOperaHouse. Terrifyingly good and incredibly moving. And Kaufmann and @Bryn_Terfel made it a total hunk fest!

@MelJD46 #Tosca an excellent production thank you @BBC2More please

@marcodemag Mario Cavaradossi's quite hot shirtless #Tosca

@Gert Shabby little shocker #tosca

@theviciouspixie Dear Santa, in my stocking I would like Jonas Kaufmann please. #tosca

@redragwork Wow - that #Tosca was heart-stopping

@SaraMohrPietsch: Ah Jonas, that was quite some Christmas treat. #swoon #tosca

@Popher Thank you BBC. #tosca was brilliant, a delightful change from the normal Xmas tv

@leboyfriend For me that was entirely satisfying and fulfilling. Bravi tutti!! #tosca

@Mark_Pullinger Ah, a Spoletta who milks the final moments! Excellent performance of #Tosca - so sorry I didn't get a ticket, but thanks Beeb for the relay.

@glittrgirl Gosh I feel knackered after watching that #tosca

@Irma0316 Magnificent! Fantastic! Stunning! Amazing! *stands up and applauds* #Tosca @RoyalOperaHouse

@David_CAA That #tosca bloke can sing a bit, but I couldn't understand a word he said

@amzenon #Tosca.. Grandiose !!! above all Jonas Kaufmann and Bryn Terfel.. Pappano & Orch. fantastic.. tremendous broadcast..@RoyalOperaHouse #BBC2

@hannahmmay pahaha, just watched Puccini's #Tosca from the Royal Opera House on BBC2! #FeelingCultured

@ivisbohlen Horrible, but great acting! RT @cazponty: It's horrible that we know that he knows......#Tosca

@glittrgirl I had goosepimples through nearly all of that #tosca *blows noes* *dabs eyes*

@tonyhatfield tears- end of #tosca #worththelicencefeealone

@John_Denny Anyone else think Scarpia looks like Ed Balls? #tosca

@clavdivs1 That was SUPERB! We need more opera on the telly! #Tosca

@_Joliffe FINALLY. Needn't of jumped, I'd happily of pushed. #tosca

@danny_blue2004 I've always had this image of her popping back up again #Tosca

@MahlerMad I HAVE NO MORE TEARS #TOSCA

@goldenavenger1 Only slight downside of watching opera on the telly is I can see Cavaradossi breathing when he's meant to be dead. #tosca

@MahlerMad SCARPIA! AVANTI A DIO! #TOSCA

@railtonrailton Don't worry, he's still breathing #tosca

@RuthElleson Yikes, I never like watching this bit... #Tosca...

@MahlerMad Presto, su. Mario! Mario! MARIO!!!! AAAAAAAH! #Tosca

@glittrgirl The good thing about watching opera at home is being able to bawl audibly. #tosca

@flumpmistress If he'd done that lip curl, I'd have probably fainted! #Tosca

@MahlerMad WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH #TOSCA

@greeboblackcat Humans yowling on tellybox. Staff bawling her eyes out. *nuzzles staff* #wlf #tosca

@MahlerMad *hugs cushion* #Tosca

@TimSim85 I'll call you by a thousand loving names. #Tosca

@Irma0316 I'm in absolute BITS. God, how I love Puccini :) #Tosca

@MelJD46 'Together in harmony our souls fly to the ecstasy of love' #Tosca

@lynnmb25 #tosca ..everything that's beautiful will find its voice in you...breaking my heart!

@findo I am in awe of JK right now #tosca

@millymelon Angela Gheorgiu's nipples: I can't understand why I can't see them in that dress #tosca

@chiller Guys, just get in the carriage and go. If you hang about like this it's not going to end well. #tosca

@Clavdivs1 No good plan starts with the line "You will be shot" #Tosca

@brendadada Jonas Kauffman's e lucevan is the most emotional I've ever heard. Domingo would be proud. #tosca

@AngharadLee 'I die in despair and I have never loved life so much' - Jonas Kauffman u have brought me 2 tears. Stunning performance #Tosca

@Cairnspolitics if you only watch 1 opera in your life then it should be Tosca. Terrific performances on BBC Two now #tosca

@EmilyOnsloe @angelagheorghiu just... WOW #Tosca

@leboyfriend e lucevan was exquisite #tosca

@amzenon Oh...Jonas... 'E lucevan le stelle' ..sigh... sigh... sigh... #Tosca

@Erastes #tosca - typical man, going to be shot and all he can talk about is shagging. # lucevanlestelle :D

@manx_maid Beautiful diminuendi - Jonas' trademark #Tosca

@dmartw Gibbering wreck after that #Tosca #goosebumps

@HorizonVA Jonas Kaufmann *sigh* #Tosca

@AngharadLee My 4yr old is loving #Tosca on #bbc2 Not sure I can cope with anymore 'why' or 'what's he doing' questions mind. She's transfixed #opera

@Gert You go girl! Kill the nasty bastard Scarpia #tosca #teamange

@brenbaritone @RoyalOperaHouse #Tosca being taped fr me at home.I saw the cast after queuing 16 hours over night.looking forward to reliving it:-)

@Becky_Todd We approve of #BrynTerfel. Blooming brilliant on the beeb in #Toscaas he is in everything. Loved my auditorium shifts when he was on.

@RachelWolseley Oh I do love you Ange, despite everything... #Tosca

@flumpmistress I'm not getting anything done, too enthralled! #Tosca

@brianbg OMG That @Bryn_Terfel really can play a bad bastard. #Tosca

@Clavdivs1 Don't trust the man you daft girl, he's spent the last act lip curling maliciously and squeezing your boyfriend's head in a vice! #Tosca

@DiveSciDiva Even though I'm female even I'm finding Angela Gheorghiu's low cut dress distracting #Tosca

@rob_f_1 @bbc2 never ever seen an opera before but current showing of #tosca is absolutely fantastic. Amazed. Thank you!

@raethepain Visi D'arte time! Unfortunate boob slippage there though. #tosca

@AngharadLeeThank God 4 #Tosca #bbc2.Relief fromXmas 4 a wee while.Terfel just head butted him @Bryn_Terfel Not classified as a fair fight in th valleys

@_widdershins Headbutt in an opera! Nicely done Bryn. #Tosca #BBC

@sensisuperstar It's all kicking off on BBC2, Bryn Terfel has just butted some bloke... #tosca

@malatrope Doesn't Bryn Terfel look like Meatloaf #Tosca #BBC2

@Paul_Anater There's hope! RT @jolocktov: RT @MahlerMad: #Tosca is trending :D This restores my faith in humanity

@cazponty For all the ladies drooling at Jonas...good....all the more Bryn for me!#Tosca

@CharlSkidmore Watching the same production of #tosca I camped outside the@RoyalOperaHouse for. SO EXCITED. BBC 2 you've made my day.

@patrickxwest Can't help wondering if Meatloaf wouldn't make a good Scarpia #tosca

@Gert Take your dirty hands off Jonas, you brutes! #tosca

@JackSullivan2 Right that's it I'm going to write an opera so I can marry Jonas Kaufmann #Tosca

@leboyfriend I'm a wreck already - and I have seen this more than any other opera so it's not like it's full of surprises. #tosca

@yourPollyanna Mother's just come into the room and asked if she's "chucked herself off the turrets yet?" #Tosca

@billybothwell68 #Tosca is even trending lol wow is this what happens when the x-factor finishes ? BBC HD folks its even better :)

@SophieBellaWiz Current trending topics are ridiculous. What is this fuckery? The only decent one is #tosca, which I hope is in referrence to Meerkat Manor.

@lucy_arch LOVELOVELOVE #tosca

@sbuttsoprano no queueing for interval g&t! Shuddering at @Bryn_terfel 's evil Scarpia.#Tosca

@quentinrayner Opera singers must go deaf, bellowing at such close range into each others faces #tosca #roh #bbb2

@ivisbohlen I'll keep an ear out for this. RT @Edward_George_: Here comes one of his best bits: diminuendo through the key change in same breath #Tosca

@bubblesmoloney I wonder if 33 is too old to become an Opera singer? I have the 'lungs'. #tosca

@manx_maid Lady tweeps who don't think they're into opera may like to look at Mr Jonas Kaufmann on BBC2 NOW. That is all. #Tosca

@thestorti I wish my life was narrated by the lead singer in #tosca would mean making toast would be so epic.

@RuthElleson Only #JonasKaufmann could wear THAT waistcoat and look hot. #Tosca

@JackyTarlton Watching Antonio Pappano's #Tosca on #bbc2 now. Thrilling start to Christmas. Great to have opera on tv:)

@Edward-George_ #Tosca #Tosca #Tosca #Tosca #Tosca #Tosca #Tosca #Tosca #Tosca #Tosca #Tosca #Tosca #Tosca #Tosca #Tosca #Tosca #Tosca #Tosca #Tosca #Tosca