Why are the maestros ditching the white tie?

Here's my latest bit of fun from the Indy, in today's edition.

A few lines were cut, notably the one about the pianist who won't wear round-collared black jackets because where he comes from, it's the garb of choice of Russian criminals; and the way that Daniel Harding makes up for not actually looking like Simon Rattle by conducting with his mouth open. But I'm glad the truth about those ridiculous black shirts at the BBC Symphony Orchestra has had a chance to be aired.

Deck the halls with...

The first press release of the year trumpeting a Christmas album has just pinged into the in-box, and the Proms aren't even over yet. Please excuse me while I go and throw myself out of the window.

As a special prize for providing the most depressing moment of a summer that you thought couldn't get any worse, I will provide them with PUBLICITY. It could actually be rather a good disc.

"A LANDMARK RELEASE FROM COLLEGIUM RECORDS - THE FIRST ALL-NEW CHRISTMAS RECORDING IN 20 YEARS FROM JOHN RUTTER AND THE CAMBRIDGE SINGERS - 'A CHRISTMAS FESTIVAL'"

"Recorded in the elegant splendour of Cadogan Hall, London, this is the first all-new Christmas release from Rutter's celebrated Cambridge Singers for twenty years and is the first ever to feature the glorious sound of full symphony orchestra and organ. John Rutter directs the Cambridge Singers, the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra and the award-winning Farnham Youth Choir alongside distinguished guest soloists Melanie Marshall, Clara Sanabras and Elin Manahan Thomas in this unforgettable festival of Christmas music."

"Release date: 27th October 2008 / Price Point: Full Price / Catalogue No: COLCD 133"

Votes, please!

If you have a look at the sidebar, you'll see a poll. I know what I want to write about - but what do you want to read about here, and how? Please vote for what you think is the best (or the least worst) of these ideas over the next two weeks and there will be some changes later in the month. Thanks!

Howard Jacobson, I <3 you

In today's Indy, columnist Howard Jacobson says everything I would like to say about the f*****g Olympics, only he does so so elegantly that it not only makes me laugh but also makes my heart sing. Honest. Here's an extract:

"I am not blind to the beauty of the body. I have watched film – because my wife made me watch film, wishing me to see what she had seen in the flesh – of Nureyev dancing with Fonteyn. I know sublimity when it's before me. But they shake my soul to its foundations not because they are athletes but because their bodies strive to express what their hearts feel and what their minds almost dare not think. Love, of course, will always make a difference. But so will any narrative when the emotions convey it to the body. In itself the body is nothing: it is what the body serves that makes it noble."

Carmen: best of the lot

Seeing the second-to-last performance of Carmen at Glyndebourne yesterday left me convinced all over again that this opera is a complete no-holds-barred masterpiece. The performance there had grown tremendously since the dress rehearsal: huge assurance and relish from the LPO and conductor Stephane Deneve, and Tania Kross as Carmen was a knockout.

But never mind the melodies, the spectacle and the toreador costumes from Seville, it's the last scene that counts the most; and Glyndebourne just can't quite match the Covent Garden production which, as performed here by Anna-Caterina Antonacci and Jonas Kaufmann, has the most powerful interpretation of it that I've ever been lucky enough to see. Voila.